It's been so long since I've posted that I almost forgot the webaddress, started typing in a friend's blog name before I realized what I was doing. It's been so long that the address is no longer in my history. And fittingly enough, as I was fumbling to remember my password, Johnny imed me to say 'happy anniversary.'

me: for what?

johnny; one month ago today you posted in your blog.

So it appears he's right. Exactly a month ago.

I feel that I'm slowly trying to pull myself out of a two month funk. I started today with the very big step of doing my laundry, then going to the gym with a novel (a novel! The Life of Pi, for the readers out there) and sitting for a glorious ten full minutes in the sauna by myself with my precious novel. The first thing I've picked up that's not in medspeak for about two months. I believe this is serious progress.

I don't know what it is about second year, but I wish someone had warned me about the medschool version of sophomore slump. Some days. er. Most days I don't recognize myself in the mirror. I don't really know who or what I've turned into. In every sense -- physically, emotionally. Maybe with a word of warning I would have prepared for this. I would have sat down with myself in the beginning of this year and given myself a talking to, perhaps set a few ground rules, starting with:

1. under no circumstances do you put aside these activities for the sake of studying:
a. showering
b. eating
c. sleeping
d. watching tv with friends

Speaking of sleep, I should leave this as just a prelude to perhaps a longer entry in less than a month from now and head to bed so I can start day two of the rest of my life on the right foot.

but.

before that...

nevermind, maybe I'll save my rants for another time. Not quite ready to let all the guards down. Sometimes a few security men by your door isn't such a bad thing. Especially when you live in the Bronx.