Para ahora, aunque, estoy aquí

I'm feeling remarkably inert today. Just got back from ward visits. One of the patients I interviewed this afternoon, a retired policeman, lost his teenage son -- he was shot. And tonight's topic for the lecture series that I go to religiously is gun violence. So I'm not in for such an uplifting day. But I think it's more than that. Something's out of whack. This morning in yoga I couldn't balance in some of the stances that usually come easy. Maybe my recent efforts at weightlifting have displaced my ch'i.

I'm still torn about my summer plans. Everytime I come close to making a final decision, I get nervous and think I should do something else. The choices...

The Big Easy: frolic on a beach in Costa Rica, learn Spanish, and hang out with lots of Einstein students.

Or.

Trial by Fire: ship myself off to a remote Central/ South American village and help provide health care in my limited capacity of medicine and Spanish and learn some medicine and Spanish along the way.

In the past, during difficult times and when faced with difficult decisions, I turn to the voice of reason, Anita, the friendly phone psychic on ivillage.com. She says: "You can keep living on the safe side, but you'll never know what you're missing on the edge." I guess she's rooting for option #2.

We start Spanish, in a week and a half, esto es muy emocionante.